Getting What We Want: Creative Visualization

Q:  Hi Susun,

 

I must first say I'm so glad I stumbled across you on the internet recently.  Reading some of your articles has given more peace than anything I've found.

 

I just turned 44 and I thought I was beginning menopause because I had no cycle for almost 2 months.  I happened to find and read one of your articles online and started drinking some of the infusions you recommended, like red clover, stinging nettle, raspberry leaf, etc.  My cycle came back and everything has been going just fine.

 

Now, for my real problem.  I've had a desire for a child for many many years.  However, I've never met anyone that I wanted to marry.  And, I did not want to choose to be a single mother and go it alone (if it turned out that way, that's one thing, but I didn't want to start off that way), because I feel I have no support.

 

Now I'm 44 and my doctors tell me I'd better hurry up.  I didn't want to just call up a friend, or go to a sperm bank, and I don't feel led to adopt.  My mother says I need spiritual counseling, but I know of no one.  If I could just get rid of the desire, I'd be fine. Unfortunately, I've had the desire for my own child for the past 15 to 20 years or so.  I can't find any peace or answers in this situation. Got any advice for me?

 

Thanks a million.



A:  Thank you for writing.  It is so wonderful you took your health into your own hands and are doing well!!  I will share your note with Susun.  She does not have internet to be able to correspond through email. 

I know you are asking for advice from Susun.  So I will share my thoughts and am happy with whether you choose to read them or not...

I know what it is like to want something SO much, yet it involves another person, therefore seems impossible for us to have on our own.  Or even just wanting something that seems impossible looking at all the options we know of for attaining it.  For me, the best thing I have found is creative visualization.  Visualize what you wish to create, even the most intimate details.  The more detail we give the better we are able to bring it to fruition, yet the more room we leave the more open we are to new possibly as of yet unthought of avenues for creating.  I know this sounds contradictory, though it is not. 

For you this might be you envisioning what you most want.  It sounds like it is a child of your own to care for.  Picture the details of this, not so much the sex or what the baby looks like, but the details of your wants, your physical and emotional associations with this, with perhaps holding the child or sharing life with a young person or being a role model or loving so passionately another living being.  Find the core of your physical and emotional wants and envision them in detail. 

As far as a partner I hear you speak more of the need for this relationship with this child and the desire to not be alone in the work that goes into this responsibility.  Perhaps though there is need for adult companionship you have that I did not hear.  Stay focused on what is the details of what is most important to you, focus on what you feel and desire, not on your head thoughts of the only ways this can come about.  It may feel essential to you that the babe grow in and birth from you.  It sounds you want to feel surrounded by adult support.  As a now single mom I can tell you that the image of having a child once married so I would not be alone in my raising, did not insure it. 

Instead of focusing on the particulars of what you think would give you the feeling you want, focus on the feeling, the feeling of being surrounded with love or intimate touch or emotional support, whatever it is that you wish.  Don't yet put a face to that image.  This is what I mean about imagining the details without getting too specific.  When you take perhaps regular time, like 5 minutes each day before bed, imagining what you are wishing, really feel it as if it were real.

Let me know if I can help further.

Blessings,
Karen Joy



Q:  Karen,

God bless you!

Thank you for taking time to respond to my email and sharing your thoughts.

It was what I needed to hear. I get so caught up in my mind and my thoughts sometimes, that it becomes difficult for me to follow my heart.

Thank you so much. I will practice creative visualization and I will keep you posted on my manifestations, if you don't mind.



A:  I do look forward to hearing more as time goes, thank you.  It is natural, and healthy really, for us to think our way through how to create what we desire.  This can be incredibly productive and helpful as we rationalize what we wish and the best steps to go about it. There are times, too, like this perhaps, when we need to step away from that approach to better access our inner desires.

All my best!

Karen Joy